Who the hell is Kristen Jones, anyway? Well, she is me and I am her. Hi!

I’m going to be honest. I wrote this blog over a year ago and i’ve been hella nervous to post it since. one of my strangest qualities is that I don’t like to be the center of attention unless it’s an accident, then I’m usually pretty fine with it. Making this blog post felt very “see me! see me!” in a way I didn’t love, so I hemmed and hawed over it for over a year. but it’s important to me that you all see me as a person worth investing in, so I’m going to take the leap. It’s going to be super scattered and nonsensical at times, but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. xoxo.

1. I was born and raised in northeast, ohio. i grew up in mantua, Oh which is in the middle of a cornfield. we used to ride tractors to school and football was the entire town’s biggest focus.

2. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was six. I was medicated until I was thirteen years old, at which time my dad let me decide if I wanted to keep taking my medication. I decided not to and have been unmedicated ever since.

3. astrologically, I’m a cancer. I don’t hold a lot of stock in astrological signs, but I do think they’re fun and can be right a fair amount of the time.

4. I’m spiritual, not relgious. I used to be religious, i went to a Lutheran church for a portion of my ADOLESCENCE and younger adult years, but have since decided that I prefer energy and spiritualism than actual religion.

5. I’m team iphone. I have a mac, an iphone, an ipad, and an iwatch and yes, I do believe apple products are superior than any others, but not in a douchey way. I’ll still totally be friends with you if you’re an android user.

6. i met my fiancé when he was in the marine corps in 2016. we were set up by my sister and I truly tried very hard not to like him since I had just gotten out of a relationship days earlier, but he bamboozled me into loving him.

7. my first pet was a bunny. her name was koda from brother bear and she was very cute and soft. I gave her to my little sister when I moved to North Carolina.

8. I’m 5’4 and I currently weigh 185lbs. I wear a size 14 in jeans. this one seems weird to include, but I don’t think we talk about size enough. It seems taboo, so I’m breaking that chain for myself.

9. I love to read books. My favorite genre is fiction, my favorite sub-genre is erotica romance. yes, I like smutty books. I actually started writing my own. We’ll see if I ever finish it.

10. I listen to almost anything as far as music goes. I don’t love heavy metal and i detest most rap music, otherwise I can jam to anything from Queen to Mumford and Sons to Disney soundtracks.

11. I clean when I get stressed out. It helps calm me down and gives me a sense of control when I often feel like I don’t have any. I also clean when I’m angry.

12. I hate doing dishes by hand because I used to hate when my stomach got wet doing the dishes as a kid. For reasons I can’t explain, it infuriated me and still does.

13. I was 18 years old when I got my first apartment. I got it to avoid living with my (at the time) boyfriend and his mother and father and sister and her fiance.

14. I was in an emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive relationship (which went both ways) for 2.5 years with my ex. we met when I was 17 and broke up days before I turned 20.

15. IF i had to choose, I’d say I’m more of a cat person. Dogs are adorable and fluffy and snuggly and funny, but cats are less MAINTENANCE and it feels more special when they choose to love you.

16. I want to retire from being a boudoir photographer by the time I’m 50 (or earlier) and spend the rest of my years traveling. I’d like to visit each continent and all 50 states by the time i’m 65.

17. I love comedy and I hate scary movies. hate. hate. scary. movies. seriously, a quiet place freaked me out and we watched it in the middle of the day. we’d be dead just because my dogs are so obnoxious.

18. my favorite color (recently) is a tie between terracotta and black. black has always been my favorite color since i was in middle school.

19. i used to play softball, for about eight years, and i played left field for the longest time. my favorite number is four and has been since i started playing. sorry, holly, but I couldn’t give away my number.

20. I started reading chapter books in first grade and have always been above my reading level, however I still enjoy reading young adult books now.

21. I own a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf that I bought at ikea for $500. It’s by far my most prized posession and I track all the books I buy. in case of a house fire, I’d be able to replace them. I’ve read half the books I own so far and will continue buying more because I love books.

22. I hate kindles. I like to smell my books when I read them (weird, i know) and you can’t smell a kindle. Plus, kindle batteries die and i hate staring at screens for hours and hours and hours.

23. We have three dogs and two cats right now. olive and dixie are beagles, bella (short for bellatrix) is a mutt, and our cats are assholes. Need i say more?

24. I’m siriusly obsessed with Harry Potter. I have a Harry Potter sleeve on my left arm that goes from shoulder to wrist. If you’ve seen it, the work was done by hope sweany from intuitive ink in Austintown, ohio.

25. i love the smell of fresh cut grass and spring rain. I love the outdoors in general, but I hate bugs so much that I often stay inside with the windows open.

26. I recently rediscovered how much I love to write. I started writing short stories on vocal media, which has been more fun than i can say. I’m both excited and nervous to share my writings with others.

27. I have a much harder time performing (singing, dancing, writing, etc.) for people I know rather than people I don’t. I care little about the opinions of strangers but greatly about the opinions of those I know, even though people I know are far more likely to be supportive. Weird.

28. shawn and I have what my mother refers to as “our own language” in which we substitute a lot of words for “beagle” and beagle type words, such as “heckin bop, bop whop, doodad, schwim-schwam” and a lot of other weird stuff.

29. in my deepest heart, I feel like a little goth girl. my best friend and I owned almost exclusively all black clothing and I’ve always loved the “darker” look.

30. In high school, I was in choir and drama club. I was a stage 5 nerd and I lived and breathed for performing. My parents had a pretty easy time managing me because if I was ever out late, it was for tech week leading up to our opening show.

31. I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts as young as thirteen years old. This was before I stopped taking my meds.

32. I don’t consider myself a “girly-girl”. I don’t paint my nails or do my hair often. I don’t act like a lady very much either, to be honest. I’m somewhere in between.

33. I think, in my heart, i’m a dad. I love dad jokes, dad bods, and dad-isms. I don’t parent the way other mothers do (although this is exclusively from nannying experience) but I do a lot of weird dadly stuff.

34. I love naps and sleeping. as a grown ass adult, I’m in bed almost every night by 11pm because I keep convincing myself that it’ll make me want to wake up early. it never does.

35. I’m a sucker for hibachi. Literally any time anybody asks me, I’m in. We went to hibachi on New Years eve of 2020 and ended up talking for hours with a couple we’d met at our table. it was so much fun.

36. I don’t normally like most peoples’ kids. which is so funny because I was a nanny for about 3 years to two different families. this probably has something to do with my dadly feelings about everything.

37. I hate cooking. I’d hire a personal chef to cook all of our meals before I decided to start cooking every single day.

38. I became a boudoir photographer after experiencing my own boudoir session and realizing how much fun it was and how much I didn’t want it to end. I realized I had found my calling and never looked back.

39. My dream house is a two story farmhouse with vaulted ceilings and lots of huge windows, PREFERABLY with dark colored walls and light colored furnishing and accents.

40. I’m a relatively good singer. I was in choir for 8 years between middle school and high school, plus some in college. If you’re looking at a long car ride for me, it’s going to be a concert, so buckle up.

41. My favorite cars are almost always nissans. My first car was a nissan, my second was a chevy cruze, and now I’m back to a nissan suv. I ABSOLUTELY love my car and plan to keep it until it dies.

42. One of my dreams is to own a beach house in North Carolina and a house near the mountains in montana. we have friends in both places and it would be amazing to be able to vacation any time we wanted to.

43. IF I won the lottery, the first thing I’d do is hire a lawyer. The second thing I’d do is take 50% of the winnings and put them into some kind of savings account. Then I’d pay off our debt, invest in a large farm and live our lives rescuing and rehoming animals of all kinds.

44. When I was a kid, I used to have a lot of imaginary friends. One in particular was a horse that would follow me everywhere I went, running next to the car because he obviously couldn’t fit inside.

45. My favorite book series of all time is the Charlie Davidson series by Darynda Jones. Hands down one of the best series of books ever written. I’m obsessed with this almost as much as Harry Potter.

46. I am deathly afriad of spiders and falling. I went skydiving in september of 2021 and the free-fall was absolutely terrifying.

47. I love taking naps. if you said you wanted to be my friend and just wanted to read books and take naps, I’d love you forever.

48. I don’t like when people throw around the term “love” too casually. It’s difficult for me to tell people I love them and even more difficult to explain why I don’t like saying it to most people.

49. One of my favorite hobbies is keeping my goodreads account up to date. It makes me feel accomplished to be reading so much and organizing when I’ve read what books and what I thought about them.

50. I recently realized that I am bisexual/pansexual. It’s weird to say and to talk about because I didn’t know it until I was an adult and engaged to a man. It’s been a lot to try to understand and it’s caused some anxiety at the thought of putting that information on display, but thankfully, my fiance has been very supportive of this fact and has been helping me work through my thoughts in a way that i don’t feel ashamed for giving myself a label.

51. I hate the smell of evergreen candles. They’ll never get the smell right I believe they should stop trying.

52. i don’t listen to podcasts. I don’t understand why anyone wants to sit and listen to other people talking about murderers or farming or whatever podcasts are about.

53. I’ve really wanted to start a tiktok account where I review books that I’ve read and give suggestions to others on what kind of books to read.

54. I used to love taking photos of anything and everything around me, but now I’m often content just looking at the world around me and enjoying it as is.

55. I have two nieces so far, and I have a major spending problem where they’re concerned.

56. I have four siblings (three sisters and a brother). my youngest sister has a different dad and my brother has a different mom, so i quite literally have a brother from another mother and a sister from another mister. cue the confetti of hilariousness for that joke.

57. according to goodreads, I’ve read over 150 books. nearly 50 of those books have been in the last year alone.

58. i have a black thumb. I cannot keep plants alive to save my life. which is such a bummer because I love real plants.

59. I have never understood how people can hate country music. it’s soulful and sad and happy and romantic and of course, shawn doesn’t like it at all.

60. I’m thankful and grateful for everything that I have in my life and what I’ll continue to have in the future… but mostly I’m thankful that someday I’ll be in a position to help others in ways I wasn’t helped when I needed it.
    

So, there you have it! 50 fun facts about me and who I have become over the years. it’s a lot of weird things to know about a person, but I believe that if you’re going to book a boudoir session and have somebody take pictures of your booty and boobies, it should be somebody you feel that you know and can trust. hopefully, this little blog post about me has given you that feeling.

can’t wait to see what the future holds for us both. xoxo.