Everything You Need to Know About Boudoir.
If you’re a novice where boudoir is concerned, don’t worry. I’ve been shooting boudoir exclusively for over two years, learning from my mentors, colleagues, peers and (most importantly), clients. It cans seem like an overwhelming experience for anyone, but I’m here to break it down to basics and tell you everything you need to know about any boudoir experience you’ll have.
Boudoir isn’t porn.
I know it may seem like it is, but it isn’t. Boudoir has a lot of facets and purposes. In my studio (and most others), boudoir is meant to focus on a luxury boudoir experience that empower’s women and can be used as a body positivity experience for women who are struggling with their physical appearances.
However, boudoir CAN be intended as pornographic content (example: women who make content for certain kinds of OnlyFans accounts can be considered pornographic because it’s meant to illicit sexual pleasure and gratification). Most of the time, that’s not why women are coming to my studio.
Boudoir does not require lingerie.
This is the one that gets people most. You hear the word boudoir and you’re thinking of scanty, scrappy lingerie and crotchless panties. Boudoir can also have a very soft, selective look. I’ve had quite a few women come into my studio with big, baggy sweaters, bikini underwear and thigh-high socks. This is also an incredibly sensual, sexy look for the women who don’t want to show it all in their photos.
You should always be permitted to bring a friend to your boudoir session.
For the most part, the professional boudoir community agrees on this point - but I’m an absolute fanatic about it. If a photographer tells you that you aren’t allowed to bring a friend, family member or your parter to your shoot, it comes up as a BIG red flag for me. Now, keep in mind, not all photographers want your friend in the room with you. It’s hard to capture that sensual, sexy mood when somebody’s staring at you half naked. But, still, your friends should be permitted to wait in a separate room or in your car as a courtesy and as a safety precaution. If your photographer doesn’t permit this and it makes you uncomfortable, do not book your session there.
Boudoir isn’t awkward.
At least, not at my studio. Many women come in with nerves and aren’t feeling sure of themselves. When I booked my first session, I was downright terrified and I considered losing my retainer and never speaking to the photography team again. But I didn’t give in to that negative voice, I got in my car and went to my session. By the end, I was fully nude bent over with my whole ass showing (which I had not planned on, initially) because I was SO comfortable that I didn’t feel embarrassed or nervous at all. Every single woman who’s come through my studio has commented on how comfortable they felt when we were shooting, as if they almost forgot they were half nude. You’ll feel that too, trust me.
Boudoir can be very expensive.
I’ve seen photographers who charge $200 and I’ve seen photographers who charge $10,000. Crazy, right? How can there be such a massive gap in investment when you’re shooting the same thing? For starters, skill has a big play in price. You can usually tell a photographer’s skill level based on the work they present as a professional. Cost of goods is also a factor. Are you buying an album, or just digitals? Hard costs up your costs. And finally, can you find a single picture of yourself like that in a Target or a Walmart or a TJMaxx or a Home Goods? What about IKEA? Boudoir (and all other photography niches) are customized artwork. There’s lots of time, skill, expertise, and education that plays into a photographer’s pricing. You aren’t recouping their money spent on those things, you’re investing in their brain and all the knowledge they possess to give you a luxury boudoir experience.
It’s okay to be intimidated.
In fact, it’s totally normal. Even the women on my Instagram feed were nervous coming into the session. They didn’t walk in, strip naked and just go nuts. It takes time to build a comfortable rapport with anybody, much less a photographer that you may not have met in person until that day. Don’t feel bad because you think you’re missing some secret that these other women have; you’re not.
You define your limits during your boudoir session.
If a random stranger on the street asked you to stand on your head in the middle of traffic, would you do it? Of course not, it’s unsafe and at the very least, you’d probably feel uncomfortable doing that. The same goes for boudoir sessions. You define what you are and are not comfortable with. If you aren’t comfortable with nudity, you say no. If you aren’t comfortable taking pictures of your vagina, you say no. If you aren’t comfortable with anything your photographer asks of you, you say no. If you feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do, stop the session. If the issue persists, leave immediately. Don't let anyone every pressure you to do something you don’t want to do during a boudoir session, whether you’re a paying client or not.
Boudoir is meant for all sizes and all ages.
Yeah, I’m looking at you Grandma. And your daughter, and your granddaughter. And you, who thinks you’re too big to do a shoot like this. And you, who thinks you’re not curvy enough to do a shoot like this. The beauty of the human form and boudoir is that it caters to SO MANY amazing shapes and sizes! There are an infinite amount of ways to pose your body, there’s no way there aren’t enough poses to make you look and feel incredible about yourself. Whether you’re 100lbs or 300lbs, whether you’re 21 or 71, there is a spot in my studio for you. There are poses in my studio for you. There is a place in boudoir for you, and I cannot wait to have you in the studio.
Boudoir is FUN and uplifting and empowering.
This one is obvious, but we can talk about it anyway. When I have a client in my studio and I nail the shot, I will giggle and jump and say things like “YAAASSSS QUEEEEEN” and “Oh my gaawwwwddddd how’d you get so perfect??” and also “YOU ARE KILLING ME YOU ARE SO AMAZING HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS SO FLAWLESSLY” because, as a bit of a perfectionist, you have pulled off an amazing pose perfectly and followed direction to a T. Then when I show you the back of the camera, you’ll say “oh my god! I didn’t even know I looked like that!” because when do you ever see yourself from behind, bent over a chair or a couch? You don’t! The truth is, we never get to see ourselves that way and it’s what holds us back from seeing our full, beautiful, magnificent potential. After your session, you’ll look at your photos and think “Damn, that’s one fine ass lady right there” and you’ll feel more empowered than ever before. You just have to take that first step by booking your session.
Boudoir isn’t a one-time deal.
Unlike wedding photography, you can do boudoir sessions over and over and over. You can do a boudoir session every month, every year, every decade, you decide! I personally have done three shoots in one year before (and yes, two of them I did myself). But image how often we get a haircut, or we dye our hair, or we just have a really really good day of hair and makeup and we want to snap that selfie. Now image doing a whole photoshoot feeling that refreshed and confident and cute! If self-love isn’t something that happens every single day, boudoir isn’t either, but we DO feel that confidence more than once a year and we should celebrate it when we feel it. Come back again and again, things are always changing in the boudoir world.
Now, this may not feel like “everything” you need to know about boudoir, but these are universal truths no matter who’s studio you’re in. If you want full info on what a whole boudoir session day looks like in my studio, then click here! Otherwise, these are good rules to follow when you’re looking for a boudoir photographer.
Stay happy, stay healthy, stay you ☀️