Isn’t it ironic that we can so easily build up the women around us, but when that same sentiment comes back around to us we just want to brush it off?

Beauty companies and clothing lines make a killing of our insecurities. We often consciously or subconsciously define our worth by the clothes we fit into, the makeup we wear, the number on a scale and the inches on our waist. This isn’t a dirty secret, just a sad reality.

So when Boudoir photographers (like me) preach body positivity but simultaneously want to lose weight, isn’t that a little hypocritical? I mean, that’s like the pot calling the kettle black, right?

No, not really. And here’s why.

Body positivity and weight loss or weight loss surgeries can, and often do, coexist. Here’s what body positivity really means to me and how you can incorporate weight loss without betraying your body positivity.

• Do you want to lose weight because you’re ashamed of your weight OR because you know it’ll bring about healthy changes in your physicality and your mental wellbeing? Your motivators and your deciding factors have EVERYTHING to do with body positivity.

• Do you want to get a tummy tuck because you’re ashamed of your stretch marks and loose skin, OR because you know that a healthy looking body can have tremendously positive effects on your overall well-being? Surgeries to change your body are taboo and they shouldn’t be.

• Are you getting breast implants because you hate your body for not being more curvy OR because it’s something you think will improve the quality of your day to day life and your self esteem?

These are not dirty words and they’re not dirty phrases. If you live every day ashamed or upset about the body you’re in and you’re being told to “Love yourself” and “accept yourself” anyway, that isn’t body positivity. That’s faking it. We can pretend to “fake it until we make it” but how long will it take before we “make it”?

Don’t fake it. Don’t do anything because somebody else thinks you should. Do it for you. Lose weight for you. Gain weight for you. Stay at the weight you are for you. Do whatever makes you feel good. It’s your life, you’re the lead character, everyone else is a supporting role. Decide for you, forget what everyone else has to say.

Stay happy, stay healthy, stay you ☀️